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Serenade

It was an incredible blessing to read this blog about a verse that I find truly beautiful.  It caused me to revisit my most memorable encounter with it.

http://followhislight.wordpress.com/2013/10/07/god-sings-for-you/

Let me set the stage…

I was focusing on everything that was wrong with me.  The voice in my head was bombarding me with messages:  You are not enough.  You are too much.  You are a failure.  You are untalented, unintelligent, unloved…You will die alone and no one will care. (I don’t know about your evil inner voice, but mine has always been a wee bit melodramatic.  Just tellin’ it like it is.)

I had come to the point that, on the wall behind a door (where no one else could see) I wrote out a list of things I needed to do every day…water…exercise. Good stuff.  Then, I wrote to remind myself that this was serious…DO IT you fat cow! (See…melodramatic).

Yes.  I said that to myself.  Isn’t it interesting that we will get up in arms and violently angry if other people say things that we tell ourselves in the dark part of the night when life’s trials merge with their shadows and seem too big to handle.

I had that on my wall for a month before a friend asked me to go to a Women’s Bible Study in a church I’d never been, with people I didn’t know.  We discussed the lies that women tell themselves and how God made us unique, special and beautiful.  Then we read this verse:

Zephaniah 3:17, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by his love; He will exult over you with loud singing.”

God “sings” over us?  I knew God loved me.  I knew I was created for a purpose, that…if I’m still alive on this planet, God has a reason for it and will use me and work through me.  Still, Satan’s whispers made me believe I was less.  BUT – He sings?  I know I find joy in signing praises to Him…but He sings over me?  It was a fantastic moment of clarity about how important I was…how important each of us are.  God wants to work in our lives, yes…but He just enjoys us too!  Wow.

As soon as I got home, I erased the negative words and wrote, “Zeph 3:17 ~ He SINGS over you!”

Frankly, the way to my heart is music.  I remember by putting things to music, mark the years of my life with music.  My family knows things are ok when I’m singing…always.  Everything tends to remind me of a song (which is sometimes a nuisance during a sermon and fun in the middle of Wal-Mart). There are days when I go from one song to another…very distracting. So, it goes without saying that I’ve always dreamed of being serenaded.  Having a guy sing to you….wow.  Having him sing a song he wrote JUST for you…double wow.

Not counting the tradition of singing “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” to the lead in the school play…I haven’t ever really been serenaded.  One of my exes wrote songs.  Starting out a date with a little strum, he then sang, “She likes me!”  Hmm…  Later, he told me about all the girls he serenaded in college.  I thought, “Finally!” and looked forward to hearing “my” song.  One day, we began talking and he told me he had been working on a song all day.  “Do you want to hear it?”

OH YEAH!

…..  It was about Kim Kardashian.

Um…ok.

He then started to write a song for “us.” However, instead of writing nice things about me, it was designed to be sung from MY point of view.  It was all about me liking him and not giving up on him, not him liking me.  Really not having to guess how that relationship turned out, huh?

So, I still haven’t been serenaded.  I’ve met very kind people who say wonderful words, and I love it!  There is something about a great person telling you you’re beautiful…something cool about a total stranger stopping you to say it.  Both happened this week!  It’s great, but not the same thing when you’re wired for music…and I am SO wired for music.  Then, that lovely blog brought this verse back to me again….and I must remember.  No person will ever complete me, not even in one single area.  They weren’t meant to!

I am loved…you are loved.  No matter what is going on in your life or how others treat you or what wicked lies Satan is whispering in your ears that you tell yourself….remember…

HE is “in your midst.”  He is right there with you.

HE is “a mighty one who will save.”  You don’t have to take the load yourself…ever.

“HE will rejoice over you with gladness.” Rejoice…over YOU!

“HE will quiet you by his love.”  Let His love sooth all the turmoil flittering around in your mind.

“HE will exult over you with loud singing.”  God serenades you.

He serenades you!

With water flowing and snow falling

Rain on tin roofs

Birds with trills and warbles of infinite variety

Mozart and Gungor

Leaves falling softly or crackling under your feet

Branches creaking and scraping

Kittens purring and pugs snoring

With wisdom spoken

And song…glorious song

He serenades you with the most glorious voice in all the universe and promises a day when you can sing with Him.   When the whispers begin…this is what I must not forget.

Shine on Me

Shine on Me

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Day 181…..

This is a beautiful article by an incredible lady. I’m blessed to be related! Check it out.

brittylew7's avatarandcupsofcoffee

Why did I become a teacher?

Sometimes this question swirls around my head.  Like a bee that you can’t quite swat away from your ear.

There are reports after reports.  Lesson plans after lesson plans.  Meetings, boy are there meetings.  I take my work home with me everyday.  Never quite feel finished.  Never feel quite up.  A testing institution where I don’t feel like I even make the grade.  Where the 180 days are full from 7:30 and beyond.

So why do I it?  Why do I get up in the morning, put on my face, embrace the last name identity, and go?  Why not something else?

Then I remember….

For that student.  You know there will always be that student.  More like that student, over and over again. 

The one who sees that they have a future for the first time.  To be a mentor.

The one who just…

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Just for Today

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about appreciating the good and positive around me and allowing that to change my focus. There is so much ugliness that easily distracts, but (right next to it, sometimes) God always gives a light of beauty. We miss it when we don’t take the time to stop. The tyranny of the urgent overtakes the peace that passes understanding.

Butch Dean's avatarWordsmith's Desk

We often move at the pace of jet airplanes in our daily lives. Busy paces rule the roost. Even when there is nothing to do, the wheels spin looking for something to occupy our time…appearing as gerbils in a wheel

Just for today, focus on your surroundings, the blessings in your life, those you care about and what is important to you; forgetting yesterday and with no worries about tomorrow, just focus on today. Just for today.

Then, do the same tomorrow and the next day and the one after that, until a new pattern begins to appear, one of living your life instead of it living you…one day at a time.

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Welcome 2014

The past year has been a crazy, filled, stressful roller coaster for me. I would have liked to have said that I was a faithful blogger for the entire year…but you can look at the entries and see that’s not true. I would like to say that I kept all the resolutions I made last year and am healthy and have my first novel finished. But…there are still healthier days ahead and ½ done isn’t all the way done.

I’m ok with these things though, because the Lord taught me, rebuked me and blessed me this year and I am thrilled to be who I am and where I am at this time in my life. Blessings come in many forms, so instead of a million and one resolutions for 2014….I’m going to be thankful for 2013.

I AM THANKFUL FOR…
 The Lord: I am saved by grace and blessed beyond measure.
 My Family: They are crazy and supportive and tremendously fabulous.
 My Friends: There may be few people who honestly have your best at heart and are there for you no matter what. I’m blessed with some of those great people.
 Health and Pain: Having enough health to be excited about the progress God has allowed in my body and feeling enough pain to remember my strength and endurance come only from God (and…sometimes, only when I need it).
 Editing: Having more opportunities to edit and proofread…and knowing that all of the projects I was able to be a part of are glorifying to God.
 Writing: Having the opportunity to work on projects I believe in and use my gifts for God.
 Teaching: Having the chance to teach some wonderful kiddos and being free to talk about real TRUTH in the process.
 Theatre: Being able to, direct, sing, dance, and act…which I love AND meeting and getting closer to wonderful people who add greatly to my life.
 Deezles: I love Dr. Seuss and that writing style, but never thought a Seuss inspired Christmas story would get a lot of support. It was a blessing to see my church family bring my words and ideas to life and add their own touches to make it even better. It was more of a blessing to hear that God used a dramatic production to make a difference in a life. That’s the point of it all.
 A Broken Heart: I had my heart broken this year. It was hard and no fun, but a tremendous blessing too. It revealed the difference between surface and depth, what I thought I wanted and what I need, and freed my heart for a great gift.
 Finally, A Full Heart: The Lord put someone in my life who is godly, strong, and good. He encourages me to be the best version of myself, and my world is brighter because he is in it.

That’s my short list! I’m thankful for so much more. Maybe I should add a resolution to that too.

My not so simple but short resolution for 2014? Love and serve the Lord with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind to the best of my ability….and love and serve those He’s put in my life with everything I’ve got.

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A Moment

Chinese Garden's at Night - Texas State Fair

Chinese Garden’s at Night – Texas State Fair 

I had spent the day at the Texas State Fair – eaten the requisite fried concoctions (oddly pretty good); picked up my free toothpaste, ice cream and 12 Hr Energy drinks; and worn my feet into two pinpoints of pain.  Part of me was so tired of “doing the fair” that I didn’t want to take the time to see the Chinese Lantern Festival (esp. since it cost extra to walk through).  BUT – that was the plan…so we passed the Midway for the umpteenth time and gave our tickets to the smiling woman at the front gate.

I would love to say that the beauty made the pain from walking all day with a chronic  illness just fade away, but I would be telling a tall tale (and I’ll leave that to Big Tex).  I hurt all the way through!  What I can say is that it was totally worth it.  A cool breeze mixed with sparkling trees and lilting music to provide the perfect background for bright lights and shooting water.  The pure quantity of details and effort was impressive. This picture was the moment I just stopped and tried to get as much into frame as possible.

A moment…..purely appreciating what was around me…listening, feeling, smelling, watching.

I love when God gives me a moment.  I wish I could ignore pains and pressures more and pay closer attention to whatever is lovely, don’t you?  God might just give us a moment with a castle….or a dragon (fully trained, of course).

Maybe even a castle made out of dishes we don’t have to wash…..

Texas State Fair - Porcelain Pagoda

Texas State Fair – Porcelain Pagoda

 

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Surprise Sunset

Surprise Sunset

I took this photo as we came below the upper clouds and above the stormy rain clouds that were (finally!) in DFW. It took my breath away! No one on the ground could see the beauty right above them. Sometimes, in my own life-storms, I need to remember God has created beauty…even if I don’t have a great view in my circumstances.

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Kittyfuzz Lessons

I wrote this several years ago, but hadn’t shared it here. I hope you enjoy!

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This morning I went through my usual routine. I opened all the shades, started the coffee and breakfast, and did my quiet time. After I was finished, I saw Rorie (kittyfuzz herself) on the floor behind my comfy chair. She was sitting with her head at an odd angle…trying to see out of a window that was too tall for her. “How cute!” I thought.

Now, on the other side of the room is another window with the same view. This one has a trunk under it and a cushion for her to sit upon. Much better, right? So, I moved over and picked her up. She whined at me. She didn’t want to be picked up or moved! She WANTED to watch out the window! Then, I plopped her on the trunk and she saw a more accessible view. Cool! She went straight to the window and forgot all about me or my obnoxious habit of picking her up.

I laughed at her. Then, I thought about my students. They are at one place in life, looking at some kind of goal or view of the world. I can see where they are and know that there are other possibilities or views they could see. I try to give them the tools to get to the next place. They agree with Rorie that the process (class, reading, homework) is annoying and whine (just like she did). Some refuse to be moved and some look out the new window and forget the process that got them there. Cool analogy…I thought with a smile.

Then, God hit me on the forehead…not with lightning or anything…just an almost physical jolt.

My kids…oh, please! It was just like me! I know that I have dreams and see things a certain way. God moves me out of my comfort zone. I don’t like it, and I whine. I’m sure God gets a lot more whining from me than I have ever received from ANY student! (As I’m sure some of you realize, that is saying something). But, really…He is just trying to give me a better position, a better view, a better purpose and place. It is very disorienting to be carried to a new window. I can’t say that it is a pleasant experience, and I definitely didn’t want to leave the view I had; it was quite nice! But, I trust my Father and am going to try to whine less. I look forward to the new window. The view must be fantastic! Hope I get there soon.